The Talent Roster
* If you've left the radio on
The Volume · Mornings
A 38-year veteran of pretending to listen, Barry once held a single uninterrupted opinion for eleven minutes. He believes in 'common sense,' which he defines as whatever he said most recently.
"If I wanted nuance, I'd have become a librarian."
The Verdict · Afternoons
Margaret hosts with the warmth of a magistrate and the patience of a kettle on the boil. She has personally adjudicated 14,000 neighbourhood disputes, none of which she was involved in.
"I'm not angry, I'm disappointed. Mostly in your fence."
Sportsline Uncut · Drive
Former reserves player for a club he refuses to confirm, Trev brings the same intensity to a Round 7 fixture as he does to choosing a parmigiana. Has worn the same suit since 2004.
"Footy is just life with a sherrin in it, mate."
Wake Up Angry · Breakfast
Dazza wakes up every morning at 3:42am, ingests roughly 11 espressos, and screams at his microphone for 3.5 hours. His on-air laugh has been classified as a category two weather event.
"MORNING MELBOURNE LET'S GET STUCK INTO IT WAHOO"